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Different ways to help yourself to a better sex life

Climbing age, stress, medical problems, busy schedule, etc. are triggers of sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain. Such triggers may result into physical changes which often mean that the passion of youthful sex may give way to more submissive responses during middle and later life. But the emotional byproducts of maturity — increased confidence, better communication skills, and lessened inhibitions — can help create a richer, more nuanced, and ultimately satisfying sexual experience.



Treating sexual troubles is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style. Here are some things you can try at home.

Understanding yourself: As you age, your sexual responses slow down. Understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you'll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn't a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.

Educate yourself: Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue. Surf through the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. Open a thorough communication with your partner should resolve the issue.

Physical affection: Even if you're tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.

Lubrication: Often, the vaginal dryness can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex — a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.

Practice touching: You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched. This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use.

Kegel exercises: Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere — while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance.

Try different positions: Developing a range of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.

Thinking of fantasies: This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Talk to your partner about fantasies and kinky talks that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.

Relax: Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.

A vibrator: This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.

Don't give up on yourselves: If none of your efforts seem to work, don't give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

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